A lot of pent-up emotion and frustration can build up for the average six years it takes for people to get the help they need. We see couples that are on their last leg here all the time. We are always asked if we can help them, and we tell them we can, but it will take work from both of them.

When we have been programmed through modeling to bring our baggage into our relationships, and then we wait on average six years to start getting help for it, that is going to take time to work through.

When it comes to relationships, we often do what we have seen our parents or guardians model in their relationships. This may be good, or this may be bad depending on the kind of relationship our parents have or had. If you grew up in a household where the relationship between your parents was explosive and volatile, you are most likely repeating that in your current relationships.

The length of time couples wait before seeking help can vary greatly depending on individual circumstances, cultural factors, and the nature of the relationship issues. However, research and anecdotal evidence suggest that couples often wait an average of six years from the onset of problems before seeking professional help.

There is no consistency in this military lifestyle and the only one sure thing that is consistent is change.

Marriage in itself is difficult to navigate, now throw the military lifestyle into the mix and the challenge level escalates

Having the hard conversations

Finding yourself within your relationship

Each partner enters the relationship with their own history. I read a meme once that said, “Everyone has baggage, find someone that will help you unpack yours”. At Harper Therapy, we work through each individual's story in couples therapy to help restore that intimacy and to help you better understand one another.

When is it time to get therapy?

We help you to get out of your you-me stances of dysfunctional relationship patterns, and reconnect to the “us” of being on the same team and fighting FOR your relationship instead of with each other.

You want to be intimate with your partner, but do not know how because you are so hurt by this affair.