Why Are You Waiting So Long Before You Get Help For Your Relationship?

The length of time couples wait before seeking help can vary greatly depending on individual circumstances, cultural factors, and the nature of the relationship issues. However, research and anecdotal evidence suggest that couples often wait an average of six years from the onset of problems before seeking professional help. 

Six years is a long time to suffer in your relationship. 

Couples tend to downplay the severity of their issues or believe they can resolve them on their own. For some reason, our society has accepted the false narrative that getting help for your relationship is not important. This denial or minimization can delay couples seeking help until problems have escalated, often beyond repair. 

Couples often put the relationship on the lowest level of the priority list when it comes to what needs attention. They will do almost anything to help their kids or other members of their families, but won’t put getting their relationship on track at the forefront of their priorities.

Couples adopt what we call an acceptable level of misery toward their relationship until one day they just look up and say something like: “I don’t know you, I don’t love you, Why are we doing this?”

There are a lot of factors that come into play when it comes to relationships suffering and failing. One of the big ones is the cultural acceptance of getting help or couples therapy for your relationship. 

I bet it is not hard to come to the conclusion that cultures and societies that tend to put a stigma on therapy tend to have higher divorce and failed relationship rates. It has gotten so bad that we are seeing Western cultures cut back on divorce rates. You want to say that sounds amazing, and that we are heading in the right direction, but when you really dig into it what is happening is that couples are getting married less often now. This leads us to start calling the divorce rate a failed relationship instead. 

Couples may be hesitant to admit they need outside help or may worry about being judged by others, but this mindset will not help their relationship.

Another reason for waiting so long to get help for relationships is a general lack of awareness. Some couples may simply not know that there are places that they can go to get the help they need to keep their relationship alive. 

Cost can be a significant barrier to accessing therapy for some couples, particularly if they do not have insurance coverage for mental health services or if therapy sessions are not affordable.

Fear of confronting difficult emotions or reluctance to discuss personal matters with a stranger can also prevent couples from seeking help sooner.

However, couples need to know that seeking help earlier rather than later can often lead to more positive outcomes. Addressing relationship issues proactively can prevent problems from escalating and improve the chances of resolving conflicts successfully. 

We at Harper Therapy specialize in working with couples. We can help you reestablish your relationship on solid ground. Don’t wait until things are dire before getting help for your relationship. Call Harper Therapy today at 813-434-3639.