The Power of Communicating with Your Spouse - Military Version
You meet this person who checks off all of your little boxes. They are kind, attentive, and charming, and dating is great. Mutually, both have decided to move from dating, to engagement, to marriage because you know within the military culture, there is no time to wait. Now married and a couple of kids later, you find yourself wondering how this is going to work. Your spouse is always gone and you are left behind to stabilize life at home.
Marriage in itself is difficult to navigate, now throw the military lifestyle into the mix and the challenge level escalates. What do you do when you only have 1 or 2 days notice of your spouse leaving due to last minute training? Or how about when one of the kids is sick and you don’t have the support you usually would if you were back in your hometown? Or when your spouse has 24 hour duty and is basically checked out for the next day to recoup?
Knowing this information, what do we do when the military lifestyle challenges our relationship? How do we express to our spouse what we are feeling during those tough moments? Communication is vital and a must! It is important to express our needs as the supporting spouse while also understanding the needs of the military member. When those last minute trainings pop up, I can assure you that they would rather be at home, relaxing with their loved ones than to be away for days, weeks, months at a time.
Let me share the possible ways to communicate with your spouse.
Technology, thank goodness for the advancement of technology! Try to connect with your spouse while away. Send messages, whether that be email, text messages, or private social media messages, just send away. Get your thoughts and emotions out there to your spouse so that there isn’t unknown territory when it comes to your thoughts and feelings. For example, sending your hunny a message when you are having a bad day. “ Hey, I am just not feeling it today, everything that went wrong- went wrong, and I just feel overwhelmed” The act of letting out this thought not only helps you to get these thoughts out of your head but also your spouse to receive it and acknowledge them.
Listen.. listen and not necessarily respond. Or ask your spouse, is this something that you would like my input or would you like for me to just listen to what is on your mind? Don’t underestimate the power of just listening! This can help build trust within the couple which welcomes intimacy and allows the space to validate your spouse’s emotions and feelings.
If you are interested in learning more about how to communicate with your spouse, give us a call! I would like to help you navigate through those challenges.
