Adaptability during Moments of Uncertainty
Last week we talked about communication. Learning to communicate our needs, thoughts, and feelings with our spouses. But what if due to this crazy unique military lifestyle you share, you can’t always effectively communicate with your spouse, due to last minute events. There is no consistency in this lifestyle and the only one sure thing that is consistent is change. It is bound to happen. Imagine, you have settled into your new home. Yea the couch doesn’t fit like it did in the last home but you found a way to make it work. Oh and you found this new amazing acai place where you make visits weekly- and if your budget allowed it- daily. And the kids, they are settled into their new school and have made some new friends. Now your spouse comes home with some news. We are moving, AGAIN.
So now what? I’m sure you have so many questions ahead and you ask yourself, What if the kids don’t make friends as easily? What about my career? What if the acai sucks at our next duty station? It is a life of unpredictability but what do you do about it? And how do you come together to overcome the changes that are to come.
Flexibility; if only it were that easy! All those questions with unknown answers can cause chaos in our minds but now imagine how they can affect our relationships. Of course, communicate your concerns with your spouse but now it is time to put it into action. Maintaining flexibility is the ability to respond to changes in a positive mindset. We are not psychics and can’t know when changes are to come but we can flex the muscle of flexibility to respond in a positive mindset.
Values, try to focus on the things that matter to you the most. Understanding how that plays a role in how you respond to constant change. What are the values that keep you grounded when you are experiencing these changes? Maybe it's your family and you want to make sure the needs of your family are met, or possibly your career, you want to go back to school and focus on your goals. Use your values to keep your feet on the ground when you feel yourself floating away from those values.
Open-minded; Do you end up just feeling overwhelmed with everything and just binge on some Netflix? I admit, I may be guilty of this from time to time…. Oops. Or do you say, you know what, screw it, I’m getting out of this place and going to explore this new territory. Or it doesn’t have to be black or white, it can be both! Go ahead and kick your feet up and watch some Netflix but then venture out to try the local cuisine with your loved ones.
Now what if you just can’t and feel that you are struggling to get to this point? What if you feel stuck and just can’t get out of that funk. Contact us at Harper Therapy to see how we can come together and formulate a plan to help assist you with the constant changes.
