The Grief Paradigm of Surrender or Acceptance

In this paradigm of practice, next is surrender or acceptance of what is.  

I acknowledge how hard this is. 

I have a list of “stupid things therapists say,” and one of them is finding your new normal.  

When faced with loss, we don’t want a new normal, we want our old life, the ways things were, our old friends, places, experiences, and history.  With loss comes the necessary work of surrender and acceptance and releasing the idea that we can control everything.  

Even in the most painful of times, there is kindness around us, there are the cycles of nature, and there are people who might step in and support us.  Surrender, acceptance, and letting go of the idea of control allow some of that goodness to return to your life, to heal you.  In this set of asanas, we soften, release, and allow.  I know this might sound strange if you are new to yoga and new to thinking about how the mind and body are connected, keep an open mind and try to be curious about this work.

All trauma therapists will tell you that one is on the path of healing when you realize there is some way to create meaning around the loss or experience.  

We work in the realm of transformation when we know that there was some growth or spark of something that might come from the loss.  In no way do I mean to minimize the pain experienced.  

This is part of healing that comes later. 

 Paul Denniston’s work in the transformation section focuses on transforming sadness into love, fear into courage, anxiety into peace, guilt into grace, fear into courage, and ultimately, trauma into resilience.  There are several postures or asanas that move the body through painful states and open the door to love, courage, peace, grace, courage, and resilience.  

If you are interested in this grief work, for whatever kind of loss, please contact Harper Therapy at 813-434-3639.