Staying – What Needs to Change?

You’re considering your options. You want to make it work. You want to keep your family together. But it cannot stay the way it is.

Something has to change.

You might have asked yourself this question before, “What would need to change for me to stay in this relationship?” You know you have accepted a lot of things in the relationship that maybe you should have said something about before…him constantly being on his phone and not being fully present for you or the kids; making work a priority over family time; getting angry over the smallest things and taking it out on you or the kids; minimizing your feelings; not taking care of his own body and health.

You recognize that no one is perfect, and that no relationship is perfect, but you also know that things could be better than they are.

So, you ask yourself, what needs to change in order for me to stay?

Perhaps you want to be able to have honest vulnerable conversations without either of you getting defensive and angry or hurt. Perhaps you would like to have more quality time together without the children around. Maybe you would like to know more about your partner’s hope and dreams, about where they see your lives going together and how they would like to grow and learn. Maybe you just want to know more about what is going on inside your spouse’s head.

No matter what it is that you’re looking for, it is okay to desire more.

Often we are told to accept the status quo, to just be happy with what we have. While there is merit to being grateful for all the good in our lives, it is also important to acknowledge our “shadow side”, the part of ourselves that may not be content or needs/wants more.

This part of ourselves may be painful to look at, because reckoning with these darker feelings may mean that we have to make some changes in our lives.

It is also the part, though, that helps us grow and evolve into our best selves and it will not let you ignore it for too long.

If you’re interested in learning more about the parts of you that are yearning to be heard and acknowledged so that you can live your truest most authentic life, please give us a call at 813-434-3639.