The Benefits of Pre-Marital Therapy
The Benefits of Pre-Marital Therapy
Hello friends! Summer wedding season is ending, and we are gearing up for Fall and Winter wedding seasons. In addition to dresses, tuxedos, flowers, cake, music, and all that jazz, how about we talk about what will last beyond the wedding day…the benefits of Pre-Marital Therapy.
When I think about weddings, I also think about the honeymoon, and this, almost inevitably, makes me think about traveling, flights, and exploration of new places. As I was musing away about faraway lands, it became clear in my mind that Pre-Marital Counseling is very much like traveling. Hang in there, let me share what is in my mind.
When we plan a vacation, we usually buy our ticket ahead of time, reserve our hotel and check the weather for those dates in order to know what type of clothing we need to pack. We do that so that we are prepared, less stressed, less disappointed, and therefore can enjoy more, right?!
Pre-Marital Counseling works in a similar way. We are getting ready for the biggest journey in our lives! Choosing to spend our life with our partner, and them choosing to spend their life with us is like buying the flight ticket. In Pre-Marital Counseling, we learn to understand individual values, dreams, commitment, strengths and quirks, and how to live with them. This is as important as choosing window, middle or aisle seat. We have to be comfortable for this long flight!
Reserving the hotel, or lodgings of our choice, and unpacking the baggage is a metaphor for understanding the FOOBS (Family Of Origin BS…check in our previous posts for more information), or issues from previous relationships and working with them in a healthy manner. In Pre-Marital Counseling we learn that we repeat patterns of behavior consciously or unconsciously. Identifying these early on and being vulnerable with one another will help with becoming aware when red flags come up, and we can help each other with carrying this luggage into and around the room, unpacking the non-effective patterns and packing healthy behaviors to follow.
Once out into our journey, checking the weather is like checking on our communication patterns. There will be hot days, sunny days, breezy days, cold days and stormy days. It’s a matter of being prepared, having the coat, umbrella or quick dry shirt. Learning how to address conflict will improve the odds of having a healthy marriage, because trust me…conflict will happen! Using active listening, expressing clear requests, words of affirmation, gratitude and learning our love languages will make whatever cloudy/stormy day we have, become just a temporary inconvenience and not a Category 5 hurricaine!
With Pre-Marital Counseling you are betting on the two of you. You are strengthening yourselves in order to build the most stable foundation for your relationship. You are equipping yourselves for the best journey of your existence!
Yiara Blanco, Psy.D
If this piqued your interest, give us a call at 813.434.3639. Not only do we offer pre-marital sessions, but we also offer a Couples Communication Workshop for the busy couple who can't commit to weekly sessions, or who would like to focus specifically on building communication skills! Give us a call to determine the best fit for your needs! Harper Therapy would be honored to be your home for Hope, Growth and Healing! Until next time!
