The S.C.E.N.E. of Relationships
We live in a society of fast, fun, and easy, but this tempo is not what makes for a great relationship. Find out more about The S.C.E.N.E. of Relationships and what it takes to connect deeply!
True confession: I'm a podcast junkie! I listen in the morning while getting dressed, in the car, and while walking the dogs. I was listening to a podcast recently about some of the challenges that our current societal norms present in the workplace, and it got me thinking about how these same societal norms really get in the way of marriage and romantic relationships, too!
These are based on the acronym SCENE. So, let's talk about the S.C.E.N.E. of relationships!
Five Truths about our World Today (and how they wreck havoc on our relationships):
Speed. Our current mentality is that faster is better. Long gone are the days of dial-up internet and marinated meals. Now, we're all about DSLs and Instapots. But, this could cause is to think that moving slowly is bad, and when it comes to our intimate relationships, we need time to build connection, trust, and intimacy. It's quality over quantity!
Convenience. Drive throughs, Shipt Shopping, Next Day Delivery. Not only is our society quick, but it's EASY!! It's all about maximum outcome with minimum effort, which can cause us to feel that anything hard is bad or not worth it. But guess what?? Relationships are hard!! Don't get me wrong, the effort we put into our relationships is worth it, but the fact is that if we're not actively working on our relationships in some small way (including fun, playful ways), they're deteriorating.
Entertainment. YouTube. Netflix. HBO Go. Facebook, Instagram, Snapchat. There's an app for that! There are countless way we fill our moments with entertainment, and that could lead us to feel that boring is bad. But, there's a comfort level that comes when we're deeply connected to our partner, which might mistakenly be perceived as boredom. The key is to recognize if we look to our partner and our relationships for a burst of excitement, putting undo stress on the relationship.
Nurture. Our society is safety-obsessed, which can lead us to feel that risk is bad. However, the very nature of relationship -- the vulnerability and intimacy that we're looking for in the connections that we hold most dearly -- feel inherently risky. In fact, connecting intimately is courageous, but there's not courageous action that we will ever take that doesn't feel risky!
Entitlement. Perks, benefits, membership rewards. We've come to expect some "something for nothing" and sometimes feel that we shouldn't have to work for something that we want.
Navigating through this S.C.E.N.E. is a reminder that much of what makes for successful relationship is counter-cultural. At Harper Therapy, we help you and your partner learn skills for connecting deeply.
Co-founders Shamon and Yolanda Harper love helping couples through intensives, workshops, and retreats! Call 813-434-3639 or use the form below to get more information!
