It happened so Long ago, Why is it Bothering Me Now?
You've gotten through some pretty hard things in your life. Things were a little rocky for a while, sure. But you moved on, got over it, even have made a pretty good life for yourself. But now, your life feels like it's unraveling a bit. That sturdy foundation that you build to cover up that hard thing feels like it's crumbling. That thing? You wonder...
"It happened so long ago, why is it bothering me now?"
As we have talked about trauma recently, we emphasized that trauma goes beyond what can stereotypically come to mind, and includes things like car accidents, robberies, assaults, as well as earlier in life events, which we call relational trauma, where our physical, emotional, and mental well-being wasn't accounted for (this looks like alcoholism, untreated mental health conditions in care givers, divorce, physical abuse in our childhood). By definition, a "trauma" is an event that rattles you. Makes you fear for your own safety or well-being, or the safety and well-being of someone/something that you love. Trauma makes things feel unsteady. Shaky.
AND
When you've experienced trauma, especially on-going traumatic events, you become pretty resilient. You learn how to get back up from the dirt, dust yourself off, and move forward. You learn how to pivot and duck. And so, that's what you've done.
Sure, you've faced other challenging things, but things have gone fairly well for you through the rest of your life. You have a job, family, friends. Mostly, you've been able to almost forget about that thing. I mean, it's always lurking in the background, but it can't keep you down.
UNTIL RECENTLY
And your life is slowing down a bit now that you're retiring.
Or your kid is creeping up on the same age as you when that thing happened.
Or you're getting ready to have your first kid. Or get married. Or some other significant life event.
And there's that thing that you thought was so well-contained. Popping up in your nightmares. Leaving you on the verge of a panic attack. Taking a toll on your relationships (your partner is wondering what the heck is going on).
The fact is that we see this quite a bit at our Harper Therapy offices. Because we specialize in trauma, we understand that the memory of this event hasn't been erased, or even so well-contained. We understand that your brain has filed this event away until it is time to work through it. Heal from it. And often times, when things slow down enough, or when there's a significant life event that is similar to the original trauma, it causes the brain to pull up the event so that you can heal from it. So that you can face retirement, marriage, parenthood, whatever, as a healthier, more healed version of yourself.
We get that it doesn't feel good, but we also know that facing these memories and doing the work is so very worth it. You deserve hope, growth, and healing. So does your family. Call us today at 813-434-3639 to schedule your appointment, or use the form below to schedule a free consultation call.
Our highly trained, highly skilled team includes Alina (top left), Yiara (top right), Chris (bottom right), and Yolanda. Call 813-434-3639 to schedule your trauma resolution appointment, or use the form below to schedule a free consultation.
