Trapped in a Cycle of Pain and Anger, Where Do You Go From Here?
Partner 1: "It feels like the world has stopped since you first heard about the affair. You don't understand how people are walking their dog and buying groceries, as if nothing has changed with your ability to get things done. Or breathe. You alternate between rage and a deep, deep sadness when you think about your marriage. You're also angry with yourself because every time you try to confront your partner about their actions, you end up in tears and longing to be held by the person who devastated you. You're beginning to wonder if the gaping hole in your heart is healable... or if it's even worth the effort"
Partner 2: "You never thought you'd be the kind of person who would cheat on their partner. You're still not quite sure how things got here. You just know that you're really sorry that you did. You look at your partner’s pain and see the reality that you caused it. You'd do anything to take the pain away. And you also wish this was over with. There's a part of you that wonders how long you're going to have to pay the price for your mistake. Then you feel guilty for thinking that way. You're beginning to wonder if you and your partner will ever get through this... or if it's even worth the effort."
You both want to get past the affair, but there is too much pain from both parties, and it takes over everything you do. The pain causes more chaos. You are both drained and exhausted from waking up to the same nightmare every day. But there is a way to heal from this betrayal and find you can give your relationship a second chance. And, no, you’re not foolish for trying to do so. It will probably be the hardest thing that the two of you do, but it’s possible for your relationship to be stronger than it ever has before. You’ll have to grieve the relationship that you had before, but you also get to create something new. At Harper therapy, we provide a safe space where you and your partner can sit down and talk about the hard things while moving towards healing.
