Stable Uncertainty – Is This You?

This is not how you expected your relationship to turn out, living with the person that you used to not be able to get enough of and feeling so alone.

Work takes a lot out of you, so do your kids and even though your partner helps out with some of the childrearing responsibilities, it still feels like the majority of the work falls on you. Planning the birthday parties, the social calendar, the doctor’s visits, the school trips…the to-do list never ends.

Around the house, you wish he would volunteer to do something on his own rather than you having to tell him exactly what to do…It’s not that hard, just look around and see what needs to be done, then do it. Each day is a race to the finish line of getting the kids fed and into bed and by then you’re so exhausted that all you can do is maybe watch some of a show and then fall into bed yourself.

There is not much room for connecting with your spouse, and it’s not like he is putting much effort into connecting with you either, other than wanting to have sex. It would go such a long way if he just asked you how you are doing, like how you are REALLY doing, and what it is that you might need.

You know that these are the hard years, when the kids are young and the stress is high but you always thought that you’d be more of a team with your husband.

You envisioned yourselves coming together when things got tough rather than constantly bicker with each other about who does more or is working harder. At this point, it feels like this stable type of uncertainty…you’re not happy in your relationship, but if feels like it would be so hard to break up the family and start over again. And you cannot imagine doing that to your children.

So what do you do? If this sounds like your situation, we at Harper Therapy may be able to help you gain some clarity and direction. Please give us a call at 813-434-3639 to schedule a consult with one of our therapists.