Introducing Alejandra Part 2

In today’s Facebook Live, Alejandra talks about her ideal client(s) and some of the transformations she’s seen working as a therapist. Couples are Alejandra’s cup of tea and she especially enjoys working with women who feel stretched thin in their partnerships and family and yet don’t feel like they have the ability to voice their feelings of stress to their significant others. Most of the time, couples have not been taught how to communicate in a way that is relationally-oriented and this can lead to problems or misgivings escalating over time. Many couples come into our practice thinking that either their partner needs to change or the relationship is over. What we have found is that the old adage “It takes two to tango” is surprisingly accurate. For the most part, we bring our “baggage” into relationships and tend to look to our partners to fix the parts of ourselves that feel broken. Unfortunately, this is not possible and just as no one can fix us, we cannot fix or change anyone else. So the idea of coming into couples therapy hoping that your partner will transform may ultimately lead to disappointment.

In therapy, we help you and your partner identify unhealthy patterns of communication and behavior and to look at where your feelings and reactions originate. Once you get some insight into your own thoughts and feelings, as well as your partner’s, you will better be able to pause before reacting and potentially create a new outcome for yourself and for the relationship (e.g. connection and repair versus discord and hurt). We hope that you’ll consider scheduling an appointment with Alejandra, or any of our therapists at Harper Therapy, to learn more about how you can elevate your partnership to a new level.