Create a Date Journal to Improve Your Relationship

If you're like most couples, dates don't happen nearly as often as you'd like. But then, the stars align... you're together, the weather's beautiful, you're both in a good mood, having fun. Heck, you're even having a good hair day! You wish you could hold on to this moment in time forever. Well, actually, you can! Read our tips on how to create a date journal to improve your relationship!

Hi friends!  I may or may not have shared that I was a scrapbooker at some point, and am currently a big time planner.  Yes, as in using calendar agendas and decorating them in many possible ways…and it seems that I am a “bad” influence here at Harper Therapy because the whole team has jumped on the planner/BuJo bandwagon! Anyway, throughout the years I have tried to include creativity and emotional expression to my psychotherapy interventions.  Sometimes very successfully, sometimes a total flop! But life continues, I learned, I tweaked, I discarded what didn’t work, and I fine-tuned what worked. Today I want to share a technique that was successful from the first try, and continues to get positive reviews.

I am talking about the “Date Journal”.  The Date Journal is in essence an everyday photo album type, with space for you and your partner to write on.  I recommend a notebook, like a $1 composition notebook, a picture or two, double sided tape runner or glue stick, and at least 2 pens or markers of different colors.  With that being said, when I craft, I have been told I am “extra”, so I use decorative cardstock paper, stickers, decorative washi tape, and markers of all the colors! Trust me when I say, it will work at both ends of the decoration spectrum, because what matters is the process, not the looks of it all. Find your style and try it on for size. (Read more below video!)

The Date Journal is an opportunity for the couple to memorialize a moment in time, a date, and then share what the date meant for each other, what each person is grateful for as it related to the date, an opportunity to give words of affirmation, and what is the fondest memory that comes to mind when they look at the picture.  It is an opportunity to exchange emotions, but also to revisit those especially awesome moments that you lived together.  It fills the emotional bank with positive and healthy interactions.  You can even go back to the journal and respond to a request your partner made. It’s like texting, or facebooking but by doing so with your own handwriting, it is valued as a special and unique exchange.

Easy steps to set up your Date Journal:

1. Chose a title for your journal page and date it. It can be the place you visited or the event you are celebrating, nothing complicated.

2. Glue down a picture or two from the date, and/or a selfie.  If you forgot to take a picture…no worries…the title of the page could be enough to elicit the memory.

3. Each partner can choose a color and jot down anything along the line of the following cues:

   1. How the date made you feel

      1. How grateful you feel or what you appreciate from your partner

         1. What memory comes to mind when you look at the picture

            1. Anything else you may want to add

            2. Decorate if you feel like doing so

            3. Revisit the journal as often as you please and read what your partner wrote. Smile as you read each other’s interactions in this journal.

And that is it, my friends.  A way to mark a time in your lives where you shared joy and where you can leave a note to your loved one regarding that particular event. This is meant to be a relaxing exercise that brings you together.  A tool to be used as you are strengthening the foundations of your relationship.  A way to remind yourself and remind your partner of the things that make your interactions emotionally valuable.

I made a “mock up” of what a Date Journal could look like.  Because Date Journals are very private, I did not use any images from journals that are actually being used, so I went into google images, downloaded some generic pictures and wrote the messages myself as Partner A and Partner B so that you can get an idea of what is possible.  There are no rules, except having fun with the process.

If you are interested in this and other techniques to strengthen and improve your relationship, feel free to call us at 813.434.3639 to set up an appointment.  Harper Therapy would be honored to be your home for HOPE, GROWTH & HEALING!

Until next time!

Yiara Blanco, Psy.D * Couples Specialist * Harper Therapy