An Important Conversation about Suicide
The news is startling. It seems like every day is a new report on someone who has taken their own life. Suicide rates continue to increase -- from depression, bullying, survivor's guilt, trauma. How to we change the statistics? How do we save lives? How can you help someone you love? How do you get help?? Today, an important conversation about suicide.
In the past week, we sadly heard about two teenagers from Marjory Stoneman Douglas High School who took their own lives in the apparent aftermath of last year's shooting there. Then, news of a father of a Sandy Hook victim taking his life. These stories are the most recent after we've mourned the loss of celebrities the likes of Anthony Bourdain and Kate Spade. In light of this, we thought it would be helpful for us to share some thoughts and tips about suicide prevention with our community.
According to the Center for Disease Control (CDC), suicide is the third leading cause of death for youth between the ages of 10 and 24; approximately 4,600 of these young lives are lost every year. Not only that, but a significantly larger number of teens attempt suicide and survive. According to a survey study quoted by the CDC, 16% of high school students reported they have seriously considered suicide, 13% reported that they actually created a plan to do it, and 8% reported that they had tried taking their own lives. Scary stuff.
So what do we, as parents and concerned community members, do to prevent these needless tragedies? We need to start having hard conversations with our friends and loved ones, the types of conversations that may bring up issues we don't want to look at. But if these conversations can save lives, then aren't they worth it? The most important thing to note when having these conversation is to approach your teen with concern and compassion. If they are struggling inside with depression or feelings of hopelessness, they need a safe place to be able to speak about these things.
You might start one of these conversations with a neutral observation: "I notice you've been spending a lot of time in your room lately" or "How come you haven't been talking to X friend as much?" You don't have to dive into the deep topics right away, but it's important to get the conversation going. Once you've been talking for a while, you might ask more direct questions, such as "Have you been having any thoughts of hurting yourself?" or "Have you ever wished you were not alive?" If the answers to any of these questions are yes, it's important to find out if your teen has thought of any plans to carry out these thoughts and if this is the case, you should seek mental health services immediately. Please note: If your child has a plan to carry out suicidal thoughts, call 911 or go to the nearest emergency room.
In order to have these conversations, it's essential to recognize when your teen might be experiencing distress. The Campaign to Change Direction (www.changedirection.org) lists 5 signs of emotional suffering, which include personality changes, isolation from other people, neglect of self-care and engaging in risky behavior, and hopelessness or being overwhelmed with circumstances. If you see your teen struggling with any of these signs, it is important to reach out and get some help. We at Harper Therapy can be a safe place for you and your teen to better understand what is going on and to work through the issues that your teen is facing. In addition, we've listed some resources below that you can share with your teen if they are experiencing feelings of depression and hopelessness.
1. This is a list of questions that you can ask your teen or that they can ask their friends if they are concerned about suicidal thoughts: http://cssrs.columbia.edu/wp-content/uploads/Community-Card-Teens-2018c.pdf
2. List of tools and healthy habits to promote mental well-being: http://www.changesdirection.com/tools/
3. The Crisis Center of Tampa Bay's hotline: http://211tampabay.org/
Talking about suicide can be scary. We can help with the conversations.
Call 813-434-3639 to schedule an appointment.
Alina Klein, MSW, Registered Clinical Social Work Intern (ISW 13266) helps teens and their families work through hard conversations to find Hope * Growth * Healing.
