Reparenting Process After Trauma as Seen in Turning Red Movie
In this past month we have addressed trauma though different eyes and explored how movies were mirrors to our inner worlds. In this week’s blog, we want to end this series with the process of reparenting. A technique in which we give our adult selves the parenting, guidance, love, acceptance and connection that our wounded inner child did not receive. By reparenting we move from unhealthy patterns in our families (also known as generational trauma).
In the movie Turning Red, by Pixar, we explore the generational dynamics within this family. Mei, the main character is thrown into an unwanted, and somewhat dangerous legacy of turning into a red panda. Mai struggles with pleasing others, negating her own desires, struggling to be accepted unconditionally.
We see how as she become more her true self, she needs to give herself the words of encouragement and acceptance that she has not received in her family. What strikes me as profound is that when you watch the movie, it all seems that it stems from love. How many times we had things done in the name of love, without knowing the deep impact it had on us.
We reparent ourselves into learning that our inner voice is correct, that our emotions are valid, that the expression of our sadness, fear or anger are not weakness, that we are worthy by holding space for ourselves and creating compassion. We can become the parents we did not have or the parents we needed and wanted. We can love ourselves unconditionally, and tell us the uplifting phrases we wanted to hear. Does this happen overnight? No, it does not.
It requires a process of transformation and acceptance, similar to Mei’s transformation and acceptance of this life energy that flowed within her. At times the reparenting process can mend the connections with generations prior to ours, such as in the movie. However, I would be doing a disservice if I didn’t mention that at times, the reparenting process makes it clear that we must emotionally and sometimes physically disconnect ourselves from our family of origin. This is painful yet necessary in unhealthy family dynamics.
In the movie Turning Red, we see the hope that change brings when accompanied by acceptance of our authentic selves. We see how we can slowly reparent ourselves and offer the child within, the scaffolding it needs to move forward and healthier in life.
If this topic made you think about your own journey and sparked the desire to reparent yourself, feel free to call us at 813.434.3639 and Let us at Harper Therapy be your home for Hope, Growth and Healing.
