Relational Fear
How does fear and worry affect others around you? Continuing in the cycle doesn’t only torment you, but those around you as well. One day I experienced chest discomfort while sitting watching Scooby Doo with my son. This wasn’t new. For several months, the discomfort had me chasing a narrative that made me fearful and worried despite medical reports which should have put my mind at ease. I knew what it was…nothing serious, but every time I felt it, I began spiraling down into uncontrollable fear and worry. This behavior, edginess and lack of peace that comes with fear and worry had a direct impact on my husband and son. I call it relational fear.
I call it RELATIONAL FEAR, because with it comes collateral damage. Not only was I gripped by it (fear), but its effects were felt by those with whom I was in relationship with. I could tell by the look on my husband’s face that it deeply pained him to see me in a constant state of fear that caused me unnecessary suffering. Even as I write about it, I have a greater revelation of the emotional toll that living in my hell inflicted upon him. He felt helpless. What are those around you feeling?
Our worry and fear can be felt or perhaps seen by our children. I tried very hard not to let my son see that I was being tormented by fear. The last thing I wanted to do was to have this cycle repeated. Hearing “mommy are you okay?” or “mommy are you praying?” during times when I was struggling the most with fear and worry was confirmation that my son was being affected. Something had to be done.
Not every story or source of fear is the same. However, the impact is the same or similar. Do you fear leaving the home, losing your job, speaking in public, driving your car, a negative doctor’s report, going back to school, taking a test, something will happen to your spouse or your children? These are only a few. Ask yourself this question. How would life look for me and my family if the gripping effect of fear and worry were a thing of the past? It can be. Call Harper Therapy at (813) 434-3639 for a free consultation.
