Fear-The Tormentor
I’ve struggled with intermittent bouts of worry and fear for as far back as I can remember. I recall falling asleep holding on to my mother’s nightgown, not because I was afraid of the dark or of the “boogie man”. It was because I feared something bad was going to happen to her or that she would be taken away from me. The same gripping fear as a child, gripped me as a mother. What if I died and left my son? What if, what if, what if? The bottom line is, anything that I didn’t want to happen, I feared would happen. Does that sound like you? This type of fear is not a phobia. It’s worrying about things that could actually occur, but excessive to the point that it consumes your every thought.
People who don’t deal with fear, don’t realize how debilitating it is. If you want to torture somebody, make them afraid. I’ve done quite a bit of work with clients suffering from fear, worry, anxiety…whatever you want to call that thought gripping thing that makes it almost impossible to function at times. Struggling to manage foreboding thoughts is not unusual for individuals dealing with fear. There’s an acronym that’s used to explain fear. F.E.A.R. is False Evidence Appearing Real; however, for the person experiencing it, there’s nothing false about what they are feeling. In fact, the thoughts and feelings are so real until the gripping effect of the emotions are debilitating. The parasitic effect of each negative thought feeds off the other, creating a spiraling down effect. Coming out of this cycle can be difficult, but there is hope.
Well-meaning comments like “snap out of it!” and “where’s your faith?” actually fuel the fear. In fact, your own worrisome thoughts are the breeding ground for fear. Ruminating thoughts rolling around in your head will potentially dictate everything you do or don’t do. You start your day thinking and fearing what’s next. Things are going to good for me. Will this be the day the ball drops? Will this be the day that the unwanted thing happens? Trying to get out of your own head leads to more fear, worry, and anxiety.
Where did this fear come from?
Everything has a root. I liken this excessive fear and worry to a plant, a tree perhaps. First a seed was planted and in order for the tree to take root and grow, it needs nourishment… soil, sunshine, rain. The bigger the plant becomes the deeper the roots. Eradicating the tree, requires persistent and consistent work at being intentional about destroying the roots. The same is true about fear and worry. A seed was planted, and it took root. The good news is that you don’t have to continue to be bothered with excessive fear and worry.
We use a technique here at Harper Therapy that will allow you to experience positive emotions but eradicate the negative cause of your fear and worry. If you connected with this blog, give us a call at (813) 434-3639 for your free consultation.
