Introducing Alina and Toni, facilitators of our Upcoming Rising Strong for Families of Loved Ones in Addiction

I am Toni, and I have 10+ years of child welfare experience, in addition to working in the local county jail linking inmates with Substance Use Disorder with resources upon their release, and a few years working for insurance companies. To prepare for these groups, both Alina and I worked through the Rising Strong program that we are facilitating. The material is beneficial in so many ways.  One of the things that stands out to me is discussing how we “offload hurt”. 

For example, after I’ve had a bad day and I come home and I’m tired and my kids are wild and their playroom is a mess and I step on one of their Legos. I lose my shit. I’m threatening to throw away all of the toys, they are going to bed right now and they’re never getting any new toys!  What this has taught me is to reflect on what was really going on. I mean, yes stepping on the Lego hurt, but my kids are 4 and 5… It’s kind of a rite of passage for a parent to step on a Lego.  I was upset because my boss gave me more work than I can handle and I didn’t stand up for myself, but my kids got the brunt of it.  

Alina has worked in addiction for 8+ years, from woman’s recovery house to substance use disorder programs where she ran groups. Alina discussed that one of the tools she took away from this material is processing grief. Grief is not just losing a person, but also losing a dream or a plan.  It’s ok to be sad about those things and mourn the loss of them. This hit home in a Brene Brown podcast where they discuss that we need to grieve what we lost in 2020 from COVID 19.  Losing a vacation, an annual family get together, or kids who missed out on prom.  

When you have a loved one struggling with addiction, it is easy to lose control over your big feelings. You might not know where your loved one is for a few days, or find out they are in jail again, and you offload your hurt in different ways onto the people closest to you. It is also important to acknowledge the loss of future you maybe planned for your loved one. No one ever plans for their kid or family member to become addicted to drugs, so mourning the loss of what you were hoping for is ok and healthy.  

If you or someone you know has a loved one struggling with addiction, please call use at 813-434-3639. Learn more about our Rising Strong for Family Members of Loved Ones Struggling With Addiction Group.