An Invitation to a Sliding Door Moment That Can Change Your Life

The statement is as fresh in my mind as if it happened five minutes ago.

“That’s ok.  You’re not in enough pain yet.”

I can still see my friend standing right in front of me, the smells of the gym all around me, the sounds of weights falling and the high-energy music playing in the background.

We had just gotten done with an exercise class and she asked me how I was.  I remember giving her my all too familiar answer… tired, in pain, no energy.  She had become accustomed to my reply, I’m sure.  Patiently, she once again suggested that I talk to my doctor about an antidepressant and gently probed about me going to therapy.

But those things didn’t add up in my mind.  I was married. Had the standard 2.5 kids, the house, the dogs.  Good friends.  Attended church regularly.  I got 8 hours of sleep, worked out.  I was checking all of the boxes.  Wasn’t my life the shining example of the American Dream?  What did I have to be depressed about?

That’s why her reply was like a punch in the gut.  And a wake-up call, all at the same time.

I remember the room spinning a bit.  Turning on its axis.  

What a minute.  This could get more painful than it is right now??  Is that even possible, because this feels pretty horrendous.

Do you remember the 90’s movie, Sliding Doors, with Gwenyth Paltrow?  Sliding door moments are those that could have gone different ways.  Choose door one, get one outcome.  Choose the second and life takes a different turn.

This was one of many sliding doors moments that I’ve had in life.

So I chose a different door.  started with the teeny-tiniest little step.  By asking myself, “What if she’s right?  What if there’s a different way to look at the chronic pain and fatigue I’m experiencing?”

My doctor had actually recommended that I try an antidepressant, and I dismissed him, too.  But, since I had tried every other form of medication and medical specialty, what if I explored things on the mental and emotional front.

I started medication.

I found a therapist.

My therapist helped me to understand what most of us are unaware of --

The physical symptoms and depression were a result of carrying a lifetime of unresolved trauma.

The body truly keeps the score.  And adverse childhood experiences leave a mark on many lives, but most of us don’t know that these things (as well as experiences like combat and natural disasters) fall into the category of “trauma”.

I also saw how these experiences were showing up in ways that were damaging to my marriage.  To the way I was being a parent to my kids.  The way I got irritable and exploded way too easily.  The way I would isolate from the people I loved the most for fear of hurting them.  The way I was always on edge, waiting for the other shoe to drop.  And always, alway, exhausted. Physically.  Mentally.  Emotionally.  Spiritually.

And I did the hard and messy and scary and glorious work of healing.

Because the healing CAN happen when we’re willing to take a look at our pain and are brave enough to claim that we want, and deserve, something different.

That moment in the gym was the equivalent of my friend grabbing my shoulders and shaking me.  It was my wake up call.  A sliding door.

And if you’re reading this, this is an invitation for a wake up call for you, as well.

At Harper Therapy, we specialize in helping people heal from trauma and the way that our difficult pasts impact our relationships (I’m guessing that you can understand why that is… :)

Our Therapists have specialized training in cutting edge, highly effective therapies that help with trauma, anxiety, and depression.  We all are trained in couples therapies that help you get past the communication problems and help you connect heart to heart.  We can help you get up from those hardest face-down in the dirt moments of grief, loss, the challenges that come from loving someone in active addiction or in the first uncertain steps of recovery.

We can help you find the hope, growth, and healing that you and your family deserve.

We offer weekly sessions.  And if you’re really ready to make big changes in a short period of time, we offer two-day intensive therapy.

If you have questions about how we can help you, call 813-434-3639 and schedule a FREE consultation. Your time is now!