Therapy and Your Teen
Therapy and Your Teen
Teens resist therapy for many of the same reasons that adults do, no one wants to appear wrong, weak, or vulnerable. Further, a teenager who feels forced to see a counselor is not likely to be motivated to change and therapy is not likely to be effective. This can result in wasted time, money, increased aggravation, blame, and stress. So, if your teen needs counseling, the way you bring it up is very important. The first conversation you have will likely set the tone for your teen's attitude, participation, and trust in the process. Let’s take a look at What doesn’t Work, What Does Work, and What to Expect ... Therapy and Your Teen.
What Doesn’t Work
- Therapy should never be used as a punishment or a threat
- Blaming, shaming, or telling your child that they are crazy, something is wrong with them, or they are too immature to make good decisions
- Lectures or comparison, technology and information has changed everything, teens are subject to different stressors and influences.
What Does Work
- What is in it for them, what will change, what will get better
- Ask for input from your teen; be willing to listen to your teen's opinions, engage them in planning and/or choosing a day, time, and therapist
- Share why you think counseling can help, not just your teen, but the whole family
- Suggest that it might be helpful for them to have someone else to talk to other then a parent.
What to Expect
So you fill out some paperwork, drop your teen off at therapy, pay the fee, your teen comes home fixed… well, not exactly.
- Therapy is a process, you need to be involved, motivated, and willing to participate, you are a role model and you need to show them how important it is…
- Keep an open mind, more than likely you are part of the problem
- Therapy is a commitment, you need to trust the process, and support your teen to make changes
Helpful Hints…
- “Do as I say, not as I do”, doesn’t work, teens watch everything you do
- If you can’t change your mind, you can’t change anything, change is good, embrace the opportunity
- Don’t engage your teen in an argument or power struggle, if you win, you should win, if you lose you gave up your authority and you have taught your teen to argue vs problem solve
- Don’t compare your experiences or tell them how they should feel, it just doesn’t work, and how you felt or what you did when you were their age is not the problem…
Choose your therapist carefully, speak to them in advance to make sure it is a good fit, and make sure they are a licensed qualified professional.
Chris Long has extensive experience with working with teens and can help guide your teen to hope, growth, and healing. Call 813-434-3639 to schedule an appointment today, or use the form below to schedule a free consultation and have your questions answered!
