Tips for Trust and Your Teen
What is trust? According to Google, it is the firm belief in the reliability, truth, or strength in someone or something. Think about the people you deeply trust...Are they reliable? Do they tell you the truth? Oftentimes, trust comes up as a topic with our teens. Are their friends trustworthy? Are they trustworthy? To help answer some of these questions, here are some tips for trust and your teen.
In discussing trust and how to establish it, we can go back to our conversation last week about core values. When someone shares our core values, they automatically feel more trustworthy to us. Think about your own core values...let’s say one of your primary values is connection. It would be tough to trust someone who does not value connection at all, right? Examining our own values and the values of those we spend our time with is essential in developing and maintaining trust.
What are some other ways we can help teens learn about trust?
Brené Brown has a few wonderful exercises, one of which is the marble jar exercise. Think about each of your friendships as a jar full of marbles...each marble in the jar is a way that these friends have proven to be trustworthy (e.g. they listened without judging, they stood up for you, they offered to help when you didn’t even ask, they heard and respected your boundaries, they accepted responsibility if they did something to hurt you). The fuller the marble jars, the more trustworthy the friends are.
Who are your marble jar friends? Can you think of friendships you have where the marble jar is not quite full? These are probably people whom you feel slightly more cautious around. We can help our teens by teaching them to focus on their marble jar friends, the ones who prove through their actions that they are trustworthy and supportive.
Conversely, it’s important to know how to BE a marble jar friend, and to BE trustworthy. Many times, parents struggle with their teen's actions that make the parent question if the teen can be trusted with a more adult scenario, and all the while the teen insists that they are trustworthy. When the family has a way to break down elements of trust into actionable steps, it makes the conversation of "trustworthiness" much more effective!
In our workshop coming up in March, we will not only teach participants how to discern who is trustworthy but also how to become more trustworthy themselves! Join us on March 20th for this special BE BOLD Courage Building offering at Harper Therapy!
Your teen can join our Courage Building expert, Alina, in March. Call 813-434-3639 to schedule your consultation call to reserve your seat. Space is limited.
Alina Klein, MSW Registered Clinical Social Work Intern ISW 13266
