Why am I always on edge? - The COVID Edition
Recently, we realized that one of our blogs, Why am I always on edge?, has had a jump in views of the past several weeks. The post was written two years ago, so it made me wonder why it’s getting traction again. It didn’t take too long for me to realize that it’s likely due to our collective COVID-19 experience, so I thought I’d update the blog to take a global pandemic, and re-entry, into account.
The Basics:
The same general info from my previous post still apply… if you find that you tend to be “on edge”, more than your friends are, and even more so through COVID and as the world starts to open up again, it’s quite possible that you’ve experienced trauma in your life and that your brain and body are telling you that now is the time to heal.
Many of us have a misconception about what “trauma” is, though, so we tend to discount this information that our brains and bodies are giving us, thinking that what we experienced wasn’t “that bad”.
So, to be clear, our definition of “trauma” is any life experience that “leaves a mark”, mentally, emotionally, physically. If it’s something that replays in your head as a flashback or nightmare, if you find yourself scanning your environment ongoing for threat, if your relationships have been impacted, you have been impacted by trauma.
The Trauma of COVID
In reality, the whole world has been impacted by the Trauma of COVID. A traumatic experience feels like a threat to your life and security, or the lives of those you care the most about. For the past year-and-a-half, we’ve been fighting an invisible virus that has threatened every sense of security we might have held. If you, at any point, found yourself wiping down groceries or mail, not even your home has felt safe.
Stressors have also increased as we’ve had less and less access to the coping mechanisms that have helped in the past and we’ve been more isolated. The relationships within our homes have been more and more stressed as we’ve spent considerably more time with one another in stressful situations of trying to figure out how to live, work, and play at home.
The Trauma of Reopening
For a while, things have been getting back to “normal”. Restrictions are loosening, people are out and about and traveling more. Life is good.
Except, it’s weird. And uncomfortable sometimes. We’ve gotten so used to following arrows up and down store isles and seeing one another with masks, that I find that I have to remind myself that it’s ok that these things are no longer in place (this is what we’ve been wanting for so long, right?). We feel a little skittish when a lot of people are around. We still feel on edge when we hear someone cough.
And if you struggled with social anxiety or had any hypervigilance around cleanliness before, those have certainly been compounded.
Oops, we did it again…
Most recently, it looks like we’re in for a “round two” of COVID, with record breaking new cases due to the Delta variant, and we’re trying to figure things out again, but this time (hopefully) with more information, less shut down, and more people vaccinated.
But the fact is that it’s still scary, and super frustrating, and continues to be traumatizing. Why? Because of two things.
During traumatic experiences, our brains try to make sense of things that make no sense, which is what this whole pandemic feels like.
Another aspect that makes an experience traumatic is the feeling, or lack thereof, of agency -- we can take action to protect ourselves and our loved ones. And while we still very much have agency in many aspects of what is happening with COVID, a lot feels out of control, with more and more looming in the future. This feeling of walking on eggshells, or not being able to let your guard down, it traumatizing.
What You Can Do
So what can you do as the world figures out what the new, new “normal” looks like? Start by being gentle with yourself around feelings of anxiety. Remind yourself that these “warning alerts” have served a purpose through the pandemic, they continue to do so, but we can turn down the volume a bit this go around since we’ve been in this space before and know some things we can do to get through. Breathe. Talk with friends and family about it (you’ll find you’re not alone).
And if you find that this being “on edge” is starting to impact your daily life -- your ability to do your job, get groceries, connect with people -- give us a call. We specialize in helping people heal from trauma; including the trauma of a pandemic.
Give us a call to schedule a free consultation so that you can talk with one of our experts about how we can help you.
813-434-3639
