My Phone is My Safe Place
As a parent myself, I'm guilty of scrolling on my phone, playing a mindless game or getting lost in the same Netflix series that I’ve seen too many times to count. This happens most often at night, after a long day of work, parenting and just being a person living in this pandemic world. I look at social media and see “happy people '' in positive relationships, kicking parenting ass and not riddled with anxiety about going food shopping because of this never ending game of cooties. TIK TOK is like a time warp, that I go from 10 minutes to an hour and half later and I don’t know what just happened. Sometimes I think Tik Tok is better than other social media outlets, because at least there is some honesty on there. Like the mom who shared that she was giving out her son's wrong birthday for YEARS, and the moms who some days just really don’t like their kids. I know, there is also the toxic side, where people pretend to be people they are not. They use these platforms to scam vulnerable people. As an adult we are looking for that dream job, those magic leggings or something to help us sleep better. For the most part, we can decipher what are scams and what is not but fear, and maybe rightly so, that our teens do not have the same level of discernment. Our teens are looking for comradery, popularity and connection online. They see us searching on our phone as an escape, a tool to numb us from the real world and they want to do all the same things. If we are feeling this way after a long day of work, why don’t they get to feel that way after a long day of school?
We blame social media for our teens and all the things that they do wrong. Look at how much we look to social media for an answer. I start conversations about the funny tik-tok or start my hair about by showing my hairdresser a pin from pinterest. Whether we like it or not, social media is a part of our lives, for better or for worse. Instead of blocking teens from using social media, or telling them how bad it is, why not have an honest conversation about why social media worries you. Discuss how you as a parent are using social media and help build that connection with your kid. As parents we have to walk a fine line between teaching and keeping our kids safe. That only gets more difficult as the kids get older. We never stop protecting, but teaching our kids how to be safe and healthy, while protecting them at the same time is hard. Removing social media does not solve the problem. It builds distrust between you and your teen. Create boundaries and expectations around social media that can be changed as they continue to make good decisions. Teaching your teen about boundaries, trust and accountability coming from social media. There's a saying about how times are changing, you can either get on the train or get left at the station. You can get on that train with your teen. If you are ready to build that trust with your teen, give Harper Therapy a call at 813-434-3639.
