I’m Fine, They’re Fine, We’re All Fine
Growing up, I was only aware of about 3 emotions. Happy, sad and mad. I was really only allowed to show happiness, any other emotion just wasn’t tolerated. I grew up in a household where I heard “Why are you crying? I’ll give you something to cry about” often. I am still working on getting comfortable with crying and understanding that there are different meanings behind my tears.
We are much more complex than happy, sad and mad. What I am learning is the amount of power there is in naming the other emotions. I am working on being able to recognize what the difference is when I am overwhelmed and when I am stressed. When I am stressed, I find comfort in Grey's Anatomy and Ben and Jerrys. I can’t wait for my kids to go to bed, so I can climb into my bed, put on a show I’ve seen a millions times and ignore whatever is going on around me, except for Ben and Jerry, and the cast of Greys. Overwhelmed tends to be more subtle. I'm doing good, I'm sleeping well, I’m exercising, kicking parenting booty and I’m connected to my husband. But then when people ask “Hey Toni! How's it going?” and my response is “trucking along”; that's a red flag. I need to look around and readjust some things so that I don’t explode… because it's coming.
If we can feel empowered as adults to learn these emotions and recognize them, imagine how much it can help our teens.. One of the top goals that I hear from parents in session is “I wish they would communicate with me, and tell me what was going on”. Here's the thing, if we as their parents don’t know how to recognize all the emotions, where are our teens learning it from? Next time you’re having a hard day, express that to your kid. Tell them what you're struggling with and why. This helps in 2 parts. One, they see that you are human and have struggles just like them and two, it starts to give them the words to wrap around what they are feeling and build that connection. If you are ready to get curious about your emotions and your teens emotions, Harper Therapy can help. Give us a call at 813-434-3639.
