Height Of Your Summer Routine

It is mid-summer, and you are at the height of your summer routine. The excitement of summer may have begun to wear off, and everyone may be getting on each other's nerves. In my house, it could look like the boys are arguing over who used up the last of the duct tape. Yes, I said duct tape. That is a regular argument that occurs in my home. My older child tends to raise his voice, and the younger one is easily overwhelmed and will begin to sob. When this happens, I feel my warning signals going off in my body. My heart begins to race, and I feel my body temperature start to rise. I know I need to regulate my emotions before reacting to the situation.

The big question is, how do we regulate our own emotions while trying to teach our kids how to regulate theirs? One powerful example is modeling. We show our kids how we calm down by physically doing our calm-down strategies in front of them. I personally take deep breaths and look for ways to bring my body temperature down. This may be turning on a fan or grabbing a drink of iced water. I also talk through my strategies with my kids. I will tell them; Mommy is feeling frustrated, and I'm having a hard time slowing down my breathing. Will you help me count while I breathe? This may sound simple, but it is one way we teach positive coping skills to our kids.

If we are telling our kids to calm down, but we are not setting that example, then they do not get to see the benefits of how our strategies work. We also need to say sorry and model that for our kids when we forget to use our strategies. We are human, and we are going to mess up. I have had the pleasure of working with many kids, and I am always amazed at how many children have never had an adult say I'm sorry, I screwed up. Will you forgive me?

If you find yourself needing guidance on regulating your own emotions or find yourself unsure of how to teach the strategies you know to your kids, please reach out.