Don’t Be So Hard On Yourself

As parents, we tend to be too hard on ourselves. We look online and see the stories that others wish to portray. We look at our neighbors and secretly wish we had what they have or do some of the things that they do. Some call it keeping up with the Joneses; I call it stress city. 

If our friend was feeling insecure and shared that they feel as though they are missing out on life because they cannot afford or have the time to go out and do the things they see others doing, what would you say to them? Would you tell them that they are right and should feel insecure and inadequate, or would you ask them to have some self-compassion? We should treat ourselves the way we would treat a friend. We should be understanding and supportive of ourselves. It is hard work, but quieting that harsh self-critic that tends to emerge when we feel less than others is powerful.

Summer is a time for relaxing and allowing the pressure of the school year to melt away. Who cares if you curl up on the couch with the kids to watch a movie instead of participating in a well-structured afternoon of karate, swim lessons, and golf? What are the areas we can bend in? Can bedtimes become lax? Can daily expectations shift a little? Parenting can be hard enough without all the added pressure of keeping up with what everyone else is doing. Just enjoy the time you have with your kids. Your house does not have to be spotless. I am personally in a phase of my life where my house is not pristine inside and out. Sure, I would love for that to happen, but I just can't at the moment, and that’s ok.

If you feel inadequate and overwhelmed by the daily struggles we as parents experience, Harper Therapy can help you find some self-compassion. We have therapists that can help guide you through the process of understanding of who you are and tolerant of your shortcomings.