Caring At The Expense Of Yourself
I saw this quote the other day on Insta, “I was always ashamed to take. So, I gave. It was not a virtue. It was a disguise.” Aninis Nin. I recognized myself and so many other women I know in those short sentences. It also struck me that that way of being in the world is a trauma response.
Many of the women I work with have been taught to make themselves smaller, more helpful, quiet, and compliant, in short- quiet, cheerful givers. That behavior hides so much of what we need, what we want and who we are.
If you live this way, caring for others in your work, in your home, in your relationships, at the expense of yourself- what do you think it disguises? What beliefs does that behavior of giving masks?
What I have seen and know is that disguise hides beliefs about our worthiness, our right to take up space, to give voice to our thoughts and feelings and to claim who we are in this world. And that disguise and those beliefs are part of the anger, anxiety disconnection from self, and depression that women feel.
What would it be like if you spent some time with yourself- if you carved some solitude today to explore what is underneath the need to give, to care for, to serve- at the expense of yourself?
Therapy is a beautiful way to explore this topic- to explore the beliefs we hold about ourselves, the events that shaped those beliefs and resultant ways we have learned to respond.
Call Harper Therapy at 813-434-3639
