Self Care and the election
When I walked into Harper Therapy on Wednesday afternoon to do a quick Facebook Live with Yolanda before seeing clients, I was expecting to talk about how families can navigate a loved one’s addiction.. After talking to Yolanda for 2 minutes, though, we thought it might be a better idea to talk about the more pressing topic on everyone’s mind…the day after.
Yolanda and I both acknowledged how exhausted we felt after the months and weeks leading up to this big day and now… we wait. As therapists, we often work with clients who are dealing with ambiguity and unknowns in their personal lives and now we are dealing with it as a country on a much larger scale. So how do we help our clients work through this? One tool we’ve come to rely heavily on is self-compassion.
Self-compassion has been widely researched by Dr. Kristin Neff, a professor at the University of Texas in Austin. Her work has been used and quoted in the writings of some of our favorite researchers and authors, including the one and only Brene Brown (if you don’t know who that is, look up “The Power of Vulnerability” on You Tube). Self-compassion can be broken down into three parts: 1) Self-kindness, 2) Mindfulness, 3) Common Humanity.
Self-kindness is taking actions that show kindness to oneself. This varies for each individual, but common acts might include taking a bubble bath, curling up with a good book, going for a walk with your family, or doing something else that you love. One way of expressing self-kindness is through touch. If you don’t have anyone around that you’re able to squeeze, you can give yourself a gentle hug or cup your face with your own hands. It might seem a little awkward at first, but it really does feel kind.
The second part of self-compassion is mindfulness. In the Facebook Live video, Yolanda mentioned that mindfulness is being aware that you are feeling uncomfortable emotions but also recognizing that “this too shall pass”. You might be feeling a certain way now, but it’s not likely that it will last forever. In practicing mindfulness, we can take the stance of simply observing ourselves, our thoughts, and our emotions without judgment. The third part of self-compassion is common humanity. Often when we’re going through a hard time, it’s easy to become isolated and forget that there are other people who have gone through similar, if not worse, experiences. Common humanity is recognizing that we are not alone in our suffering.
Now that you have the three tools of self-compassion, try practicing them on your own and let us know how they worked out for you day to day! As always, if you would like some help implementing self-compassion in your life, or working through any other issues, please don’t hesitate to reach out to us at 813-434-3639 to schedule a session with one of our Therapists!
