New Years Eve Mental Health Resolutions
New Years Resolutions are something I have a love hate relationship with. On one hand, I hate how people will create a resolution and feel awful when they break it. But on the other, I love how it can be a time of growth and a way to set goals that you may have been wanting to set for a while now. For the new year, why not set some mental health goals as well? I encourage you to not only think of physical goals such as finding a good spin class or going for daily walks, but also goals that will help you feel better mentally and emotionally.
A good example of a mental health goals is setting boundaries with others. This can take the form of allowing yourself to say no to social plans if you need “me time”, letting other people know if something they are doing is upsetting you or limiting time with people that drain your energy. Setting boundaries is something that many people struggle with. It is ok to say no to things that do not align with your priorities or values in life.
Self Care is another goal that is often overlooked! This is something I mention all the time. Making time for self-care would be the second goal I would encourage everyone to try to do in the New Year. Making time for self care in the new year can look like not taking work home if possible, doing an activity that you enjoy doing like reading, drawing or meditation. Self Care can look like getting enough sleep and making an effort to go to bed earlier or eating meals regularly throughout the day instead of frantically working all day and then binge eating comfort food once you get home. I encourage everyone to try to engage in one activity of self care daily.
If therapy is on your radar, make an appointment in the New Year with a therapist you feel is the right fit for you. Therapy can be a place for you to process your emotions, gain more insight into yourself or even work on your relationship. Many times, people wait for things to get bad before they seek out counseling. This is fine, but change may take longer to happen, rather than proactively seeking ways to avoid stress in the first place. Think of it like a vaccine helping to prevent illness beforehand instead of having to go to the doctor after an illness has begun.
Negative self-talk is something we are all guilty of. This looks like talking down to yourself or what I like to call “bullying yourself.” These may be times you make a mistake and call yourself dumb or tell yourself “you cannot do anything right.” Instead of continuing to put yourself down, try to talk to yourself as you would a child. Be gentle and recognize mistakes happen. Try to soften the tone you use while talking to yourself. An example of this would be “ I did not try as hard as I could have but next time I will put in more effort.”
Be more present in the moment. Allow yourself to live in the here and now and enjoy life and what is going on day to day versus thinking about times that things were great or awful. Also recognizing that just because things are hard now does not mean it is always going to be this difficult. Living in the moment is hard for many people.
Jennifer Schaap
Lastly realize that we are all growing and areas of growth are normal. Recognize what you did achieve in 2019 and how you did achieve a goal or grew psychologically. Maybe you were able to go out to more social events than you did in 2018, got a new job or even were able to take time for more self-care. Also think about areas you feel you want to improve on. Maybe one of the skills mentioned in this blog is an area of growth you want to work on. 2020 will be here in a week! Lets try to be kind to ourselves, treat ourselves with compassion and visualize what we want the new year to look like. Happy Holidays everyone! Mental Health is important so if you are looking to for a more intimate relationship with you partner or your self, give us a call at 813-434-3639 to schedule an appointment with Jennifer Schaap LMFT!
