The Best Part About Being a Teen
Recently, we shared real-life feedback from some kids about The Hardest Part About Being a Teen and invited you to sit down for ice cream or coffee, or go out and shoot some hoops or go for a walk with your teen to ask the question. Hopefully, you got some good insight from your teen about what struggles they are going through! This month, we turn our focus on The Best Part About Being a Teen. Similarly to when I asked bout the Hardest Part About Being a Teen, the teens I talked with seemed surprised by the question, and it almost seemed like it was a harder question for them to answer. They were extremely thoughtful about their responses, and there was a resounding them their answers to the question of what is The Best Part About Being a Teen - FREEDOM!
Keep in mind that, developmentally, the teens years very much mimic the toddler years. Our teens want to know that we are close by, a safe refuge, for them to come back to after they toddle away a few steps, fall, and need to come back f0r comfort. They get to "practice being a grown up" while the consequences are not as big.
One teen explained it like this:
"The biggest thing for me is the freedom. You kinda have the power of doing whatever you want without the repercussions or responsibilities of being an adult."
Are there "repercussions and responsibilities" as a teen? Sure! But learning how to get to a job on time, or to create a budget based on that job have much less repercussions and responsibilities than that first job after graduating college when there's rent and insurance to pay!
Another teen put it this way:
"Ok. I guess I would say that the best part of being a teen is being old enough to start having freedoms. Like driving and working for your own money and being able to go places with friends and be more independent without having too much responsibility. Like I know in a few years we'll all have to start paying rent, health insurance, car insurance, etc etc, all on our own. But for now it's mainly focusing on school and just learning how to be responsible for the future while also having fun. So I guess that's the best part? Making memories and not having too too much to worry about rn. (right now)"
The challenge for many of us, as parents, is balancing this helping our teen learn responsibility while still recognizing their developmentally-appropriate need to have (appropriate) fun. As our teens get older and move toward adulthood (and even into early adult-hood, through their early twenties), the stakes feel much higher when they make age-appropriate mistakes. It's hard for us to remember that we made the same mistakes at the same age.
Or, harder yet, you want to protect them from making the same mistakes we made at the same age.
But it's super important to remember that our job isn't to protect them from making mistakes. We can't keep them from falling as that take those toddling steps away from us. Then they'd never learn how to walk on their own!
Our job is to be the steady, safe harbor, the beacon of light for them to return to for comfort and to be reminded that, with support, they can make their way into adulthood.
Harper Therapy is here to help you and your teen with your family's transition into teen years and beyond. Our teen therapists, Chris and Alina, are great at connecting with your teen to give your family additional support during these often turbulent years.
Call 813-434-3639 to schedule your free consultation!
