The Hardest Part about being a Teen
It was an innocent enough FaceBook post. A friend took her young daughter to Chick-fil-A, and in the kids meal was a game of questions to ask one another. One of them was "What's the hardest part about being a kid?" Cute! I wish that card game was around when my kids were the kids-meal eating age. But then I thought, "Wait. Why can't I ask them now??" I have three kids, two of which are teenagers, so I asked them "What's the hardest part about being a teen?" Then we asked the same question of some other teens. And their answers blew me away. It's amazing what teens will share when we take the time to listen.So now, with their permission, I'd like to share a small sample of answers to the question "What's the hardest part about being a teen?"
The future:
So personally one of the harder parts about being a teen is the pressure of success further on in life. I see opportunities to mess up my future and I’ve seen examples of people who took those opportunities and are now miserable in their lives and I’m scared of becoming that. Not even like career success but happiness in life.
Freedom. And the lack of it.
Adolescents are trapped in a confusing dilemma where they are treated as a child and as an adult simultaneously. On the one hand, teens are told to prepare for “the real world” by using the time to mature and make wise decisions. Yet, there are many teenagers, myself included, who have parents who still wish to have control over the lives of their adolescents.
This is why there is, what many people label as, the “rebellious” phase. From my personal perspective, and experience, when teenagers act out it is not from fear of the next phase of life or as a way to get attention. It is a way to show that we want the opportunity to showcase our ability make our own decisions. It makes more sense to give adolescents the freedom to make their own mistakes because the best way for anyone to learn is to suffer from the repercussions of their actions. Many parents, like my father, wish to shelter their children from the hardships they had to experience in their own lives and attempt to accomplish this by enforcing decisions with little regard for the opinion of the teenager.
Maya Angelou once wrote in her poem Caged Bird that “the caged bird sings with a fearful trill of things unknown, but longed for still...the caged bird sings of freedom.” Much like the caged bird in Angelou’s poem, teenagers will long for the unknown but never have the freedom or independence to explore it. The inability to explore the unknown is what solidifies the false sense of adulthood that confuses the reality of life for many adolescents and later makes adulthood all the more difficult.
Belonging
Alright first is from like 13-14 years old. The hardest thing was just trying to fit in. Like everyone was maturing at different rates physically and mentally and emotionally so for example being friends with someone who had dated before and had their first kiss and such when you hadn't was always kinda awkward and strained friendships and such. And then second is for now like 18-19. Technically we're adults.. And expected to communicate and work things out in adult ways but again everyone is still kinda maturing at different rates and learning to handle themselves so I just feel like things get lost in communication a lot. Whether it's about feelings or relationships. just like not knowing how to properly and effectively communicate your thoughts to someone yet.
Intense emotions
I would say the hardest part for me was learning to process what I’m feeling. There’s a lack of sympathy for it too in a lot of adults, like you’ll feel awful and have no way to process it and grow from it because it’s new to you. So rather than offering advice you just kind of get ignored because “it’s normal.” Like yeah man, it’s normal but, you can help me talk this out or something.
Your turn
Ask your kid what the hardest part about being a teen is. Then be quiet and really listen. You might need to give them some time to think about their response. That's ok. Their answers are pretty phenomenal!
