What You May Not Know About Trauma

When I ask about trauma in an initial session, most people quickly answer no.  First I might break it down to the trauma we all think of; physical abuse, sexual abuse and emotional abuse.  Again, the response is a quick and immediate, “nope”.  But when I break it down further and truly explain trauma, everyone has trauma, it just looks different for each person.  

In the book “What Happened to You” by Oprah Winfrey and Dr. Bruce Perry, Dr. Perry uses the example of a house fire.  The persons whose house burned down, that was very traumatic for them and they maybe triple check that appliances are off and certain smells make them more anxious and they have some post traumatic stress.  The boy who lived next door, that was traumatic for him too, he was woken in the middle of the night, didn’t know what was going on.  He might have trouble falling asleep for a while because he’s scared of being woken up to something like that again.  Then there is the firefighter who has trained for these events.  For the most part this is his everyday life, there are some situations that may have more impact, but he’s used to it. 

There are a lot of behaviors that as a society we categorize as normal, but in fact it’s a trauma response.  I am extremely proud of being a fierce independent person and I do not like asking for help.  That's a trauma response.  Somewhere along the way I learned that asking for help was bad, and I couldn’t count on anyone but myself.  Another trauma response that blew my mind, watching the same Netflix series over and over.  I just thought I really liked Greys Anatomy.  Actually, it's that I like knowing what's going to happen and its predictable, and watching a new series gives me anxiety.  I have learned that when I’m triggered and I feel like things are out of my control, I’ll watch Greys’.

The key in recognizing these responses is so that you can understand yourself better.  Maybe that will give you an opportunity to create a boundary, to better understand yourself or heal a relationship.  These responses will not just go away on their own and will continue to impact your life on all levels. 

If you find yourself anxious in situations that you used to enjoy, if you have responses our outbursts that you don’t quite understand, it can be a response due to a trauma you don’t realize that you’ve been through., Give Harper Therapy a call at 813-434-3639