A Relationship Refresh to Get You Through 2021

You and your partner made it through 2020!  You quarantined, social distanced, and figured out how to get toilet paper for your family.  You took a deep breath when it felt like the walls of your house were closing in as everyone worked from home, homeschooled, zoom called, and tried not to go stir crazy.  And as you kissed each other on New Years Eve, it was with the hope that 2021 would bring the promise of something different for your relationship.

But things don’t feel so different.  At this point, you’re realizing that you have moments of barely liking each other.  You both know that you can’t make it through another year doing the same thing.

What’s really going on?

Can you still love each other and not like each other?  Sure thing! For many couples, 2020 highlighted the things about our relationships that were a little “off”, but easy enough to ignore.  Being in the same house 24/7 for months on end leaves a lot of time for critique -- and often in an unhelpful way.  For some couples, it’s uncovered things that you thought were well buried.  It’s time to face the elephant in the room.

Collective Trauma is a Relationship Damager

Every single one of us has been in “survival mode” for months.  While this is necessary for survival, it’s brutal on our relationships.  Let’s face it, it’s nearly impossible for us to be the “best version of ourselves” during these stressful times, much less be able to meet our partners with grace and generosity. But each negative interaction, every argument, the cold shoulders, choosing Netflix over talking through the hard stuff -- each of these take us further and further down the road of disconnection.  More and more lonely.

What if it doesn’t have to be this way?

Although 2021 has offered us the same rocky start that 2020 ended with, there are still whiffs of change.  The possibility of something different.  Or, at least, the hope that things don’t have to be as bad as they have been.

Harper Therapy offers couples the space to create and recreate their relationship.  The space to process and grieve the things that haven’t worked and been downright painful.  The space to gain clarity and understanding about why these things were happening to begin with.  The space to learn new and more loving and connected ways of being together in relationship.

For some couples, this looks like weekly therapy.  Other couples choose to do the work in an intensive format.  What’s the difference?

Weekly therapy can sometimes feel like moving from hotel room to hotel room every night.  You get into your room, start to get settled in.  Unpack your suitcase, hang up your clothes, line your shoes up in the closet.  Put your toiletries on the counter just so.  But all too soon, it’s time to pack up, look around the room to make sure you’re not leaving anything, get keys to the new room and start the process all over again.

Our two day intensive is like having a reservation for the same suit throughout your entire stay.  You can really settle in, get comfortable in the space. Not feel rushed. You have time to notice the details and appreciate the view from the balcony.

This format allows for a different kind of depth to the work.  A deeper understanding of yourself, your partner, and your relationship. More time and space to explore what your dreams are for your relationship and how to get there.  Enough time and space to really practice new skills, tweak them, and get super comfortable with being with each other in this new, more connected way.

Our Couples Intensive offers 8 hours of therapy over two days.  To be clear, this is not 8 hours of arguing and finger pointing (you can do that on your own at home!).  This is 8 hours of constructive conversation infused with a ton of humor.  The intensive experience includes a fun activity at the end of day one, because we can all use a little fun these days.  And there’s a two hour follow up to fine tune your skills and to offer any additional support you might need.

If 2020 Survival Mode status has caused you to feel burned-out, resentful, and disconnected in your relationship, call at 813-434-3639 to set up a free consultation to see how our intensives might help you find fun, joy, belonging, and connection again.