What Do You Do When Your Life Isn’t Working?
Soul Sabbatical, A book written by Harper Therapy Co-Founder Yolanda Harper is out now, get your copy here!
What do you do when your life isn’t working?
This is the question I asked during a moment of stark realization that, in spite of the hours I had spent meditating, doing yoga, journaling, taking staycations, and countless other “self care” activities, I was still burned out, overwhelmed, and exhausted.
It took me forever to name that I was burned out. I struggled to admit to myself that I wanted more out of life than the status quo. Because I live a pretty blessed life, I had a hard time acknowledging that I yearned for more joy, peace, and connection. For a greater sense of simplicity, balance, and ease. So many of us go through this kind of half-living. Things are “good enough” for us to grit our teeth, grin, and bear it. But our souls long for more.
Half-living, Bed Rot, and Burn Out
Half-living is a state of “hanging in there” until the next thing. Maybe the thing is the next degree, the next certification, the next promotion, the next job, the next milestone, the next vacation, the next thing that we look forward to that will be “the change” that our souls are looking for. Only “the change” doesn’t really change anything. We still want to run away from the life we’re living.
I recently heard the term “Bed Rot”. Are you familiar with this recent TikTok trend? The idea is to stay in bed for extended periods of time, not to sleep, but as an act of “self care”. Now don’t get me wrong, I’m all for incorporating passive activities into my life, and getting rest is super important, but that’s not what’s going on here.
This is numbing and checking out from your life.
I don’t say that with judgment. I say that as a canary in the coalmine. Because I’ve been there. Not “bed rot” specifically, but my own version of it. And while it might release the pressure valve of the burn out we’re experiencing just a tiny bit, it’s still half-living and doesn’t solve what’s under the burn out.
I’ve recognized this pattern for myself over the years. The burn out piles up, take a long weekend away. The overwhelm returns, take a yoga class and get a pedicure. The exhaustion piles up, bed rot with a bottle of wine (or whatever).
The pattern occurred so often that I finally had to get honest with myself… get a better understanding of what was really going on or watch as the burn out intensified to something with much greater consequences to my physical health, mental health, and to my relationships.
Also, I got to a point that I got tired of hearing myself complain about the same things without figuring out what I needed to do differently.
So I very hesitantly did the thing that I had sensed my heart had been calling me to do for years… step away from my business, my work as a trauma therapist, the endless to-do lists and the crushing responsibilities and go on sabbatical.
This is the story of the fear, exhilaration, uncertainty, and giddy anticipation of stepping away from it all. The journey of how I revived my heart and regained my time, energy, and joy.
It’s a guide for how you can, too. Won’t you join me in the journey?
Soul Sabbatical will be released soon and can be found on Amazon or at www.yolandaharper.com
