The Limits of Obstacles
“If you think you can’t, you won’t. If you think you can, you will.” (Linda Ward) Obstacles can be hurdles or roadblocks that obstruct your progress and can hinder you from achieving goals or living life to the fullest. They can significantly influence how you perceive yourself. It is common to define your value and worth based on external validation, such as achievements, material possessions, or approval from others. However, these external factors are often temporary and can fluctuate, resulting in being vulnerable to feelings of inadequacy when they are no longer present. Some obstacles are imposed by external circumstances such as difficult life experiences, traumatic events, and societal pressures. Others are self-imposed, arising from fear, doubt, and limiting beliefs. Have the obstacles that you face challenged your comfort zone leaving you with the choice of confronting your fear or remaining stuck in uncertainty? I am hopeful that recognizing the limits of experiencing obstacles helps you to identify where you may be stuck so that you can map a plan forward.
I’d like to point out that obstacles can be viewed from two different aspects, internal and external. We will focus on internal obstacles because I believe that addressing this can help view external obstacles with less fear. Internal obstacles are often rooted in thoughts and emotions making them deeply personal and subjective. Examples of this can include self-doubt, negative self-talk, and the fear of failure. Regardless of their nature, you’re most likely to feel overwhelmed, anxious, and uncertain about your ability to move forward. You may even question your value and worth, leading to low self-esteem, diminished confidence and comparison to others.
Comparing yourself to others can be a dangerous trap. Oftentimes, doing so leads to fear of missing out. It is extremely difficult to notice and appreciate all that you have done when focusing on what you have not obtained or do not possess. This can create a number of roadblocks that can prevent you from reaching your goals and realizing your potential. Comparison is predicated on the idea that if you don't measure up to other people's accomplishments or standards of beauty or success, then somehow this means there are deficiencies within you and what you have accomplished thus far. But this way of thinking is unhelpful and damaging to your self-esteem. It’ll push you into an unrealistic box of what “should” be, instead of celebrating your own unique talents and accomplishments. We cannot all approach things the same way, there is no fun or creativity in this. Being uniquely you is your greatest gift to yourself and those around you!
Another limiting obstacle is perfectionism. If you strive for any degree of perfection, you will feel defeated if you don't achieve it. It is not true that anything less than perfect is unacceptable but I am going to say that this is the message that is consistently displayed around you. As a result, you’ve adopted this belief too and have not been able to push through it to see the possibilities. Automatically your motivation has decreased and your progress is stunted. The last limit of perfectionism is being overly critical which creates an additional layer of stress. Stress can slow you down and prevent the achievement of your goals. When you are heavily critical of yourself you are sure to miss the small things that contribute to the big picture. “Life is like riding a bicycle. To keep your balance, you must keep moving.” ― Albert Einstein
To overcome the obstacles that challenge your sense of value and worth, it is crucial to shift the focus inward. This involves building self-awareness and embracing your unique qualities, strengths, and talents. By exploring your inner world, you’ll discover a deeper understanding of intrinsic value which is independent of external factors. My encouragement would be to create a mantra or affirmation to remind yourself that you are whole and enough as you are. Reminding yourself of your personal strengths, successes, and resources can also help to focus on the positives, rather than dwelling on the obstacles. “If your dreams do not scare you, they are not big enough.” ―Ellen Johnson Sirleaf. You are capable of so much, including achieving your dreams that are so big that they scare you at the present moment. Any journey worth traveling begins with taking the first step! Trust that you can do it, the opportunities are to come.
